The waiting game

The answer will vary depending on who you ask but the general thought associated with that saying is a long duration.

My partner and I in the midst of our waiting game, waiting for that call that could be the start of a whole new life.

This article is not written to ask for charity donations or sign a petition but merely to tell a story, a story that needs to be told. 

We are two 30(ish) guys who are madly in love and have been together for going on 12 years this year and all we have ever wanted is our own family.

Both of us did what was sensible, we worked hard to build ourselves up and create a life and career for ourselves, own our own place and when we achieved our goals we decided the time was right to bring a child into this world.  A child that will be surrounded with a stable and loving family but this is where it gets a tad unstuck.

Sadly there is a dire shortage of surrogates here in the UK, so we, like so many other couples, are waiting and hoping to meet a special person who will be able to help us.

We are aware that one of the factors that undoubtedly influence this lack of surrogates, is the outdated legal framework we have in this country. There is little protection offered for anyone involved in the process and the laws that were designed years ago just do not reflect what is happening today.

We made the decision to enlist the help of Brilliant Beginnings because we wanted to make sure that we were setting things up properly in light of these laws and so that we could feel confident that the surrogate who helps us will have access to the best possible support and guidance so that she is fully prepared for the journey ahead.

We know that the team at Brilliant Beginnings are involved in calling for a reform of surrogacy laws and we fully support their cause. They are calling for:

  • Surrogacy agreements (as statements of intention) to be put in place at the outset for UK surrogacy arrangements.
  • Parental orders to be made pre-birth so the intended parents can be the legal parents from birth where there is no dispute.
  • Recognition of international surrogacy arrangements in the UK from birth.
  • An end to discrimination against children born through surrogacy to single and non-biological intended parents.
  • Clarity that compensation for inconvenience can be (and routinely is already) paid to UK surrogates, if they wish.
  • Faster issue of British passports for children born through international surrogacy

If changes were made to reflect these points, we feel confident that so much more clarity and security would be offered for everyone involved, particularly for families who are pursuing surrogacy here in the UK. 

The question is why are we operating in such a stone age way? As a country we are so progressive with so many things, yet dragging behind in others.

We support the need for change and continue to remain hopeful that the perfect someone will come along soon to help turn our dream of having a family into a reality.

Watch this space…