A surrogate’s perspective on the Two Week Wait (2WW)
The two week wait or 2ww as you’ll find it on many web searches, is a pretty tricky time when going through a surrogacy journey. 2ww is the wait between having your embryo transfer and your pregnancy test date. It is a fairly anxious time whether you are conceiving with the help of a surrogate or not! I’ve had two previous surrogate babies, and in total have been through six two week wait’s!
I am writing this from day 6 of my 7th 2ww, having had two previous failed cycles with my current Intended parents (IP’s). It starts as soon as transfer happens, and by ‘it’, I mean the analysing of every single little thing that you feel in your own body that could even, by the smallest shot, be something to do with the implantation of that little embryo(s).
One of the things I find most tricky is how much do I share with my IP’s? Do they even want to know the random things that I’m feeling, like bloating, cramping, needing to pee every 10 minutes, or indeed not feeling any different at all? Do I tell them that or do I not for fear of getting their hopes up? Or making them feel sad? What I’ve learned over the years, is that instead of worrying about these things, it’s just best to ask your IP’s what they do and don’t want to know. My previous IP’s were a Heterosexual couple and the Intended Mother (IM) wanted to know everything in detail as she would do a certain amount of analysing of those symptoms herself. However, my current Same Sex IP’s are very different, and are quite happy with me sharing if I want too, but there really is no pressure.
I remember my first few two week wait’s and these were just so very long! Each day seemed to go so slow, and the obsession with peeing on a stick definitely kicked in! Back then I started peeing on those sticks two days post embryo transfer, which looking back now just seems like a huge waste of money and unrequired lack of sleep; as I would wake up so much during the night, because I’d have the test to do first thing in the morning.
These days though, I’m much more relaxed with the peeing on a stick thing, and there really is no point in testing till at least a week post embryo transfer, as I now know, the HCG in your system just doesn’t reach your urine that quickly! Even so, when I do start testing on day 7 post transfer, the sheer determination that goes in to the evaluation of those lines, that are there, or aren’t there is unreal. I go through a process of, holding it up to the light just in case I can’t quite see a line with the naked eye, or shining a light through the back of the test itself and squint…. a lot, in order to attempt to find an extremely faint line that will give me hope that this time it’s worked! I might pee on a stick two or three times a day sometimes, just to check if there are any changes, more often than not, there isn’t in those first few days of testing, and actually it is just a waiting game….some people are more patient at this than others.
So as I sit here on day 6 post embryo transfer knowing my two week wait is nearly half way through, I’m waiting to start it all again tomorrow. Now though, instead of having sleepless nights waiting, I just try and keep as busy as possible, so I’ve got other things to think about and make sure I’m tired enough to bed in order to get a good night’s sleep.
In summary, don’t sweat it….. if it’s going to happen it will, and if not you will dust yourselves off, and try again when you are all ready to do so.
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