Building bonds through surrogacy

Reflections on being a surrogate, and why you should consider doing it too

Surrogacy is a deeply personal and transformative journey, both for the intended parents and the surrogate. As a surrogate, I have had the privilege of playing a unique role in a process that goes far beyond simply carrying a child; it’s about creating connections, fostering trust, and building bonds that can last a lifetime. My experience as a surrogate has been one of the most rewarding of my life, and I continue to cherish the ongoing relationship I’ve developed with the parents and their beautiful daughter.

Surrogacy is about more than biology—it’s about love, connection, and the power of selflessness.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve believed in the importance of helping others. Becoming a surrogate felt like a natural extension of my values. I had already become an egg donor after hearing that a close friend of mine had been struggling with infertility, and I first considered surrogacy after the clinic where I donated my eggs suggested it to me. The idea that I could give someone the gift of parenthood resonated deeply with me. After careful thought and discussions with my family, I made the decision to embark on this incredible journey.

I met my intended parents through Brilliant Beginnings, and from the moment we met I knew this was the right match. My intended parents were kind, compassionate, and completely committed to their dream of starting a family. Our initial conversations were filled with excitement, but also honesty about the challenges we might face.

Over the years, we’ve been invited to her naming day, first birthday party, we have met up for picnics, days out, some lovely meals and catch ups in each other’s homes. While I am not a parental figure to their daughter, she knows that I played a special role in her story, and it’s heartwarming to see how she is learning to embrace that part of her identity. There’s a particular joy in watching her grow and play with my own children when we meet up. She’s a bright, curious, and content little girl, and knowing I played a part in bringing her into the world fills me with pride. Our bond is unique, and it’s a testament to the power of open communication and mutual respect between surrogates and families.

Surrogacy has taught me so much about myself and it has been so empowering. I’ve learned the importance of setting clear boundaries and expectations from the start. Surrogacy is an emotional process, and it’s vital to have open, honest conversations. I leaned on my own support network, including my family, friends, and the team at Brilliant Beginnings. Their encouragement helped me navigate the physical and emotional challenges of surrogacy. In turn, I tried to be a source of support for the parents, offering reassurance and positivity throughout especially when I was feeling rather green – I kept reminding them that the sickness was a good thing! And showed a good level of hormones, to ease their guilt that I was dealing with that little ‘joy of pregnancy’ for them.
Another little takeaway is that every surrogacy journey is unique. What works for one surrogate and family may not work for another, and that’s okay. The beauty of surrogacy lies in its flexibility and the way it adapts to the needs of everyone involved.

To anyone considering surrogacy, I want to say this – it is one of the most rewarding and meaningful experiences you can undertake. Yes, it requires commitment, empathy, and resilience, but the rewards far outweigh the challenges.

I am grateful for the opportunity to help a family grow, for the lifelong connections I’ve made, and for the personal growth I’ve experienced along the way. Surrogacy is a life-changing journey that brings families together and transforms lives. As a surrogate myself and the surrogate manager here at Brilliant Beginnings, I’ve seen the emotional and physical transformation that occurs not only in the intended parents but in the surrogates as well.

If you are considering becoming a surrogate, take that leap – the world needs more women who are willing to give the gift of life and love.

Want to chat with us about being a surrogate?

Tracey, our Surrogate Manager has supported thousands of women considering becoming surrogates.

She is always happy to have a chat with you. She loves talking about her experience, the benefits of working with Brilliant Beginnings and how surrogacy works in the UK.

There are no silly questions!

Speak to Tracey, our surrogate manager
By Tracey Sims

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