Myth-busting surrogacy in the US: a guide for UK intended parents

Brilliant Beginnings has more than 10 years of experience supporting intended parents through surrogacy in the US, including parents living in the UK and Brits living abroad.
Navigating surrogacy can be daunting and we want to help make it simpler and smoother. To help with that, here are some of the common myths and misconceptions we regularly help parents to work through.

Myth 1: Surrogacy in the US is transactional in nature

Although surrogacy in the US is supported by a range of paid-for professional services – and surrogates are compensated beyond expenses – surrogacy in the US is not just a business transaction. It involves a deep commitment and emotional connection between the surrogate and the intended parents. Surrogates choose to carry a baby for others to help people build families, creating bonds that often last beyond the birth of the child. The relationships we see develop between UK intended parents and their surrogates in the US are very similar to the relationships which develop with UK surrogates.  Research we conducted with Cambridge University in 2018 showed that 95% of intended parents had stayed in touch with their US surrogates long term – which was consistent with the rates of continuing relationships in UK surrogacy.

 Myth 2: US surrogates are motivated by the money

While surrogates do receive compensation for their time and effort in the US, and this is dealt with transparently in the gestational carrier agreement you enter into, financial gain is rarely the primary motivation for surrogates in the US. Just like in the UK, US surrogates are driven by altruism and helping others achieve their dream of parenthood, and agencies carefully screen surrogates to ensure their motivations align with your values and expectations. Find out more about what motivates US surrogates.

Myth 3: It’s important to pick the best US state for surrogacy

This isn’t necessarily untrue, but it is a bit of an oversimplification. Every state in the US has its own laws in relation to surrogacy, and it is important to make sure you can be legally recognised as your child’s legal parents in the state where your child will be born. 

However, while some states have restrictive laws or ambiguous regulations, the majority are surrogacy friendly. States like California, Nevada, Illinois and Connecticut, among others, have robust systems in place that protect both surrogates and intended parents, making the US a favourable destination for surrogacy.

In addition, the location of the surrogacy agency or fertility clinic you work with does not necessarily dictate where your surrogate resides (and so where your child will be born). In the US, surrogacy arrangements often involve coordination across different states. Agencies and clinics have extensive networks and logistical capabilities to manage these complexities efficiently, regardless of geographic location. Find out more about choosing the best state for US surrogacy.

Myth 4: UK intended parents need an unmarried surrogate

In some international surrogacy cases involving UK parents it is important to match with a surrogate who is single because this enables the child to be born a British citizen (if their biological father is British) and this eases the process for bringing them home. However, the US is different to most other international surrogacy destinations because children can obtain a US passport and use that to travel home to the UK initially. That being the case (and bar you needing an unmarried surrogate because you have other nationalities and it makes a difference elsewhere), in US surrogacy cases the marital status of the surrogate does not significantly impact the surrogacy process for UK parents. 

Both married and unmarried surrogates can be excellent candidates. What matters most is the surrogate’s health, emotional stability, and support system, not her marital status. Agencies conduct thorough screenings to ensure all surrogates meet these essential criteria.

Helping you to get your facts straight

Surrogacy in the US is certainly a complicated process, with lots of moving parts and lots of choices to be made.  However, it is a choice made by many UK parents who need the help of a surrogate to build their family, largely because it offers a certain route to both finding a surrogate and being recognised as the legal parents, and is a professionally-managed and predictable process.

Brilliant Beginnings was set up to help facilitate responsible ethical surrogacy practice and, with a decade of experience managing US surrogacy journeys for UK parents and the backing of our sibling organisation NGA Law, we can steer you through the process safely and confidently.